"Mom, Stop Kissing My Tattos!"

Turning 5 is a big deal..  I know that in today's fast paced world, kids are in lessons and classes as young as 2--gotta have just the right pre-pre-school activities to launch your little hipster baby into the educational stratosphere!  We didn't really go that route with Teeny Human.  There have been blocks of lessons but, largely, it has been him and us and the close network of family and friends that we have--most of whom don't have children.

So Teeny Human's 5th birthday brought on quite a few observations about what we've done so far...and also a face full of bright, buggy temp tattoos, crowned with two UW Ws above each eye.  Now, instead of Ugga-Muggas and cuddly kisses at night, I have to keep my distance or I will smudge his beautiful artwork. 

5 is new territory indeed.

5 is realizing that Daniel Tiger has given way to Wild Kratts and Hungry Hungry Caterpillar has been replaced with Magic School Bus.  5 is discovering phrases like "Whatever" and "Come on, Man" and "Shut up" quickly followed by a new familiarity with the phrase "I'm sorry, that was disrespectful and I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."  5 skims perilously close to 13 as crying and whining give way to eye rolling and breath huffing when Teeny is unhappy.  5 is still bright and wide eyed at new discoveries but can now talk to us about how they make him feel with more articulacy and emotional intelligence then some of the 45 year olds I deal with daily.  5 has 2 best friends (one real, one a stuffed Huskey ) 5 is old enough to start taking tiny leaps of freedom out of my sight with his human BFF Flash and Flash's ever watchful and responsible big brother, Sirius.  (After all...there's a lot of Jungle in our backyard to explore and a mom just holds you back...) 5 is helping us with making sausage and bacon during Sunday breakfasts and being big enough to run two doors down all by himself (in full sight the whole time, of courses) between our house and Flash's when the 12 hours that they're separated from each other daily is just too long.

5 is also a gut check.  A reminder that we have chosen not to raise Teeny Human like many of our other friends have chosen to raise their children.  There's been no Santa, no Easter Bunny, really, and none of the "parties" of plastic Dinos or Leprachauns and elves who made messes in so many of his friend's kitchens. He knew the story of Hamlet (Lion King) and The Prodigal Son (Veggie Tales) before he EVER knew who Snow White and Cinderella were--and he was only introduced to them because of Once Upon a Time.  So the women HE knows in those roles aren't really much like the ones originally written for kiddy consumption.  There is very little of the traditional "magic" seen in many childhoods.  And, as he starts to make forays out into the real world--we're about to see how that pans out.

CASH and I didn't exactly SHIELD him from the more imagination laced lifestyle.  We simply recognized that not all children are the same because we knew, as kids, that the stories most parents told to fire youthful imaginations weren't real.  And we spent a lot of time trying to figure out what was wrong with us because we didn't buy, hook line and sinker, all of the impossible garbage our peers seemed to accept.

We did not give him Fairytales.  We gave him football. We talk about Archie and Olivia Manning, The Krafts, The Woodens and our Aunts and Uncles.  All of whom love and honor their partners through decades of marriage, kids, fights, and personal changes....and he learns what True Love REALLY is...a choice to commit to a commitment even when it's no longer easy or convenient to do so.

We introduce him to men like Derrick Coleman and Drew Brees so he knows what it means to have faith in a dream--to stay strong and true to the voice inside you that tells you who and what you really are.  To be brave and to persevere even when the whole world is telling you to give up because who you are isn't enough.  We make sure he knows about the 7-9 Division Winning Hawks so he knows to never give ANYTHING less than 100%, even when the situation seems hopeless--because there is ALWAYS hope.

Pigskin parenting isn't easy--we spend just as much time explaining villainous motivations as we do heroic ones. But even then, there are great lessons to be learned--how to overcome hard childhoods, face demons, control vices and fight for redemption after you've done something wrong.  We don't want him to feel like he has to grow up perfect in order to be loved...we want him to know that he can be human and will be loved, anyway, as long as his heart is true and he really does want to be better.

The World After 5 will tell, I suppose, if we have done the right thing.  That's the deal with parenting, whether you do it by a playbook or a storybook...either way, you're putting something you've loved and labored and nurtured over to the best of your ability out in front of the world and you're saying "Please don't break it...but also...it'd be pretty awesome if you liked it, too." 

As I tucked Teeny Human into bed tonight, I found my favorite spot on his temple, just at the hairline and inhaled deeply before giving him a kiss.  Somehow, despite all logic, the sweet, powdery, delicate smell of babyhood still clings to that spot and I needed the reminder that my little boy is still my little boy.

5, after all, changes a guy.  It's a VERY big deal. 

Ensemble Casts Only

"Winds from the East...mist coming in....like something is brewin'...bout to begin.  Can't put my finger/on what lies in store...but I feel what's to happen...has all happened before..."

In what, at first, looked like one of the most shocking trades to happen mid-season in quite some time, the Hawks let Percy Harvin go to the Jets for what's known as a conditional 6th round pick.

On the surface, the trade was shocking because in football, mid-season trades feel rare.  Football is a game of timing and relationships between players.  A lot of time goes into determining, prior to the first snap of the regular season who is going to fit for exactly that reason.  Once you think you've got the best people, I've noticed that the roster is really only messed around with when you have injuries or nothing else to lose, really.

The other thing that made it shocking is what they traded him FOR.  We picked up Harvin for a 1st round pick, a 3rd round pick and a 7th round pick AND we paid him $20 million for him. That one little conditional pick we got for him might as well have been a sack of potatoes and a song.

As my Female Football Guru said to me "Something else has to be going on, here...they gave him away for too little.  It feels like a slap in the face to him."

Somewhere in a Lions locker room, Golden Tate is smiling a knowing smile and giving Harvin the sympathetic nod of support...you know...from one guy who tried to be bigger than the system to another.

Tate didn't get traded from Seattle.  And his departure wasn't as sudden...wasn't mid season....

But if you're paying attention to what Pete Carroll's cooking in the kitchen we call the VMac, I bet you've noticed a variation of this recipe before.

In the VMac controlled by Pete Caroll "The Play is the thing" to quote the Bard.  What matters is the team...what happens on the field.  And there is no room in the organization for someone who's going to put his stats above the good of the team.  It's not that we don't have a place for Prima Donnas.  We do.  Sherman's mouth is legendary...a Stanford shaped opinion on everything.  Wilson is a brand on all on his own and, at the other end of the spectrum, we have the mystic of Lynch.  Each of them attention grabbers, even when they don't want to be.

There is room for Divas on the press junket and commercial sets, in blogs and on social platforms.  But there is no room for them on the field.  On the field, you buy in or you head out.

That's a hard decision to make, to be honest, when you're not in the spotlight.  Especially if you feel like you have talent that could be better utilized and has a short shelf life.  I'm not a football player but I have a job.  I'm a competitive person...it doesn't take much of a stretch to be able to understand how I'd feel if I thought my opportunities were slipping by.

Which makes the Tate and Harvin departures nothing to be upset about, on the whole....in both cases. Carroll and his front office ended up getting rid of players who felt that their stats were more important than team harmony (both football stats and apparently, in Tate's case, bedroom ones as well...) while both of those players ended up going on to teams that are better suited to support an old fashioned Star Football Player mindset that Wide Receivers seem to have in spades.

Not everyone fits in every situation and not every goodbye is something to be sad about.  I watched bandwagon 12s wring their hands over Harvin's departure and wonder what we'd ever do.  And even with the loss, today, my mind is still set.

Caroll did the right thing in proving, again, that there is no I in team.

Tainted Sundays

My beloved Hawks lost today.  Our vaunted Defense was shredded, bit by bit, with every DeMarco Murray and Terrance Williams touch.  Our normally steely and ferocious defense looked like impotent kittens.

It was a rough game. The box scores tell an even worse story than the score does.  Particularly telling is the first down completions...where the Cowboys ran over us at a rate of almost 3-1.  The pall of being behind settled over my living room crowd early.  The San Diego game notwithstanding, it's been a while since we, as a team, have been less than absolutely dominant.  As fans, we've gotten used to the last minute drives and Richard Sherman miracles that snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

With child-like faith, I waited...but no miracle came, today.  A sharp but necessary reminder that my Heroes are not Gods but Men who will occasionally have a bad day and be out played.  I refuse to make excuses.  Today, I believe the better team won and I am forced to eat every single joke I have made about Romo.  They do NOT taste good. 

Teeny Human was, of course, running around the house fully Hawked out after our family pictures (Yes...we took our family pictures in Hawks gear.  It seemed appropriate. Sorry Buscha.  Love you!)  Football games are still kind of boring for him when we're at home.  He loves being at the stadium but at home mostly he'll just run between us and Curious George in the other room, screaming "Touchdown" and "Go Hawks...WHOOO!" maniacally at the appropriate times.

Fandom, football or otherwise, is a strange thing.  (Btw...anyone who tries to tell you football fandom is different than, say Sherlockians or Whovians or Brennenites...lets get something clear...I am a fan of all of those things and it is NO different.  The obsession is the same, the only thing that changes is what you obsess over.) It tends to take you over in the moment.  I SOBBED while watching the season premier of Bones this year, laughed maniacally when Moriarity returned and I teared up today over the obvious agony of Victor Cruz.  "Fan" is a derivative "Fanatic" which is literally defined as a "person with excessive single-minded zeal".  Rational thought really isn't a major part of the equation and verbally expressing our anger over a bad game is often as uncensored as our jubilant celebration of a good one.

As the mood turned dark in my living room, today, I realized that it will be the last time the Hawks are behind that I watch the game the rest of the way through..  I will not ask my guests or CASH to change the way they are fans.  Fandom doesn't work that way.  My sister in law has season tickets for Huskey Football.  We used to go together a LOT.  We both love college ball and crisp fall days, sneaking in alcohol (ssshhh....) and hot chocolate and Top Pot.  But after a game one Saturday, I talked some trash, she really didn't like it and rather than change the way I "fan" I have refused to attend a game with her since.  And it isn't because I'm angry...it's because I refuse to dial down my passion and she shouldn't have to be uncomfortable.

We are not 'fandom compatible'.  And that's okay..it just needs to be recognized so that no one gets upset or feels to awkward.  And, as the only parents in our Sunday Group of Football Fans, we see the bad mood that settles on a group of fans during a loss differently--it's our JOB to keep in mind, constantly, the big blue-grey eyes that see everything and a mind that absorbs all it hears.  And football, while it can show us the best of people, can certainly show us the worst, as well.

So, next time the Hawks are behind, Teeny Human and I will be taking a walk or maybe playing Candy Land or Play-Dough with a movie in the back bedroom.  Anything to keep him occupied and distracted while the world crumbles around the ears of the rest of our House of 12s. Not because I judge any of them for the way they love the game.  I can't.  I love it that way too. I get that it's not healthy or wise or balanced but...I'm a fan.  By definition, I don't care.

But I want Teeny Human to continue to see football as a family tradition that brings us all closer together.  And when you spend your Sundays bouncing between Curious George and Red Zone, all you're REALLY going to know is that when football goes South, so does the mood in the house.  Eventually, anyone would start to resent something that had the ability to ruin a whole perfectly good day.

CASH and I took Teeny to the park after the game.  We breathed in the wind, rolled down hills and laughed deep belly laughs that purged the loss from our system.  Teeny brought us out of it, as he always does...partially because it's silly to let a GAME ruin our family time but mostly because he's just himself..funny and a little zany and cooky, totally unaffected by a stalled offense and Swiss Cheese defense.  Looking at him, all big blue eyes and giggles bubbling out of him, I knew I was making the right decision AND getting the best end of the deal.

Win me. :)

is this moral compass supposed to point south?

Roughly 60% of American watches the NFL.  Football is the most popular sport in America with an average attendance of over 67,000 fans a game--a $9 billion a year juggernaut that spans a wide range of demographics.  I used to know a very funny, kind transient man who loved the Broncs.  Would talk about them for hours if you gave him an audience.  Know who else loves the broncs? A HUGE percentage of the very successful, Denver based law firm I work for.

Football holds many of the same tenets as American Society--a meritocracy where hard work, talent and dedication can, at the very least, allow you to provide a comfortable life for yourself.  Brotherhood and camaraderie are key--Football is a team sport and no matter what Die Hard Tebow-ies say, one man can't make a game.  In fact, Tim would be the first person to lay that truth down. Loyalty is important, as is a certain amount of selflessness and sacrifice on behalf of the brothers you suit up with. Competition, drama, pageantry...all VERY American.  It's also exceptionally generous--many of the players have their own charitable organizations that do everything from buy school supplies to build homes. The NFL, as an organization, is a snapshot of what American civilization strives to be.

And NFL Fans live EVERYWHERE...I LOVED this map I found that shows what the divide of fan bases are supposed to be based on distances from the stadiums...but then click the team logo and take a look at where that fan base actually IS.  I found the Cowboys particularly interesting...

All of this, though, made the recent scandals the NFL has faced next level interesting for me.  I survived Domestic Abuse.  I should have been the first person who would be ready to walk out the door with all of my money in hand rather than spend a single cent on a League that would harbor such people.

I wasn't.  I hated myself for it but I knew, if I was being honest, I'd be writing angry letters to NFL players and owners, calling for Goodell's job and demanding substantive and sweeping Personal Conduct Policy changes immediately.....

.....while on my laptop watching every single snap I could get my pigskin hungry eyeballs on.  The NFL would have lost nothing, despite my vitriol and hands shaped like claws after so much typing.

Consumerism is one of the few voices we, as normal humans who aren't backed by SuperPacs, have.  If we don't agree with a company's stance, we don't have to give that store our patronage.  This is not a new concept...you effect the bottom line of a major corporation, you effect change.

But you can only effect that bottom line if you walk away and take your money with you.  And one of the hardest things to handle about the Week the World Fell In was that moment when I looked in the mirror and realized I KNEW about most of the cases that were "brought to light" after the Ray Rice video.  These are public figures...ESPN has likely covered every personal conduct policy violation up to that point thus year.  I hadn't really thought twice about the fact that those men continued to play and faced marginal consequences from the League or their Teams.

I knew and I condoned it because I was too concerned with making sure my Eliminator Pick streak was still undefeated (it is, btw...I'm CRUSHING it...).  Football is a short season...every week has its own special stakes...they all matter.  This creates a firestorm of chaotic attention...a story is really only a story from late Sunday Night to kick off on Thursday, most times.  And way before the Ray Rice video, way back when I started WATCHING football..I should have held the NFL accountable by watching the way they handled these situations and taking them to task when they were wrong. I didn't.  It wasn't convenient to do so.

See..that's what really gets me.  The NFL is a snapshot of American Character to some extent...and they covered up all of these issues but...who ALLOWED them to do that?  Who built them up to the point where they genuinely believed that they could cover this up and get away with it because all fans care about are wins.  Pretty sure that's our bad...you know...as fans and all.

I had to listen, often, to people groaning about how they wanted to talk about ANYTHING else that week.  And I get why...I spent a good portion of that week utterly disillusioned, yearning for normalcy and tired of conversation. But I also feel like this is how we GOT here...football wins/conversations/strategy being more important than anything.

Being a good person...that doesn't take a day off.  And what is right and fair doesn't become murky or grey simply because the person in question rushed for a whole bunch of yards after knee surgery. Playing for the NFL doesn't become any less of a privilege and more of an entitlement because you can sac a QB or crush a fellow lineman. Had we, as fans, made it clear that we felt that way, they would have policies in place that reflected that for fear of losing our money and the sponsorship of other corporations who pay so highly for access to us.

I have a quote on my wall at work that delights the Audrey Hepburn/Grace Kelly portion of my heart.  It reads "if more women were ladies, I wonder if more men would feel compelled to be gentlemen"  Sometimes, we have to set the bar and simply demand it be met.

WE are the moral compass for the NFL...and the NFL's lack of moral guidance in some of these issues is more disturbing than just a giant corporation that doesn't care and has harbored violence for the sake of stats...trading the life and well being of women and children for another TD or 100 yard game.

It speaks to a society that does the same thing.

"One Battle at a time..."

While browsing Deadspin, today, I ran into this little beauty of an article calling into question the Indian Heritage of Mark One Wolf, the gentleman touted by Dan Snyder as a Native American who had no problem with his team's moniker.

Here's how I talked this through with CASH (that stands for Charmingly Asshole-ish, Sarcastic Husband): 

The argument can be made that Snyder doesn't have to consider a single opinion when it comes to naming his team.  He pays the bills.  

But some words simply have no place in an enlightened, civilized setting.

And then I started looking up stats and realized that no matter WHAT side of this line you fall on, Dan Snyder's not likely to get his barely functioning three ring garbage barge out of trouble on the field until he clears the storm over their head and makes a change of some kind. 

Washington has bottomed out their division every single year since 2008 except the magical RGIII rookie year.  Of those 5 last place finishes in 6 years, they managed to break even ONCE. So far, they've a whopping 1-4 on the season with a hurt (for the 2nd time) RGIII and a backup QB who runs so hot and cold he makes discount motel showers look consistent.  

In fact, excepting the fabled and miraculous RGIII rookie year, the last time Washington took 1st place in their division WASN'T EVEN IN THIS MILLENNIUM. 

That's a long time to wallow in a mud hole of barely passing mediocrity when the League that your team belongs to has a draft system set up to promote parity and it speaks to some poor decision making SOMEWHERE...perhaps we can start on whomever decided to wait until 2013 to replace the disgracefully rundown field. that clipped the wings of their Wonder Boy for a time.

I've never run a football organization.  The closest I've ever gotten is...I literally have nothing here that isn't' going to sound just asinine and ridiculous. But  when the 2014 Draft kicked off, one of the biggest questions before the GMs and coaches of the NFL was whether or not the first openly gay player would be too much of a distraction.  Imagine how hard it must be to concentrate when it's your organization under fire for racial insensitivity. Better yet...look at the Win-Loss records.  They'll tell you everything you need to know. 

The controversy may not be the REASON the team is bad it's certainly doing nothing to help the organization on the field, falling under the "One more thing we gotta deal with in the media" category that, over time, wears heavily.

And if Snyder thinks it'll die down or go away, I think he's being terribly naive.  This is how social change is brought about, now...social media has, in a way, made us all civilly disobedient, if we only choose toe recognize it power and abilities. Ideas and concepts balloon from tablets, laptops and phones like baby spiders, using the gossamer strands of the internet to take flight...and the free exchange of ideas is always, ALWAYS a powerful thing. 

I am reminded of a story I once heard about Lincoln during the civil war...There was a high ranking British politician that was having lunch off on a ship with a Confederate Politician when the boat was boarded by Union soldiers and the Confederate Politician was taken into custody.  The British Gentleman was irate, threatening military action if there was no release of his friend.  Lincoln, amid the groans of his cabinet members, let the prisoner go.  His reasoning? "Fight one war at a time." 

I'm not sure this effects my life one way or the other.  Take a look at the last two wildcard shots Washington's had and what team it was that shattered those dreams.  That's right...my Hawks.  And if our Teeny Human ever asks why the word Redskin is not used in our home, I'll simply explain to him that we do not use words that go out of their way to make another person feel bad for something they can't control or have no say over.  I'm not asking the NFL to parent for me--I got it, thanks. 

 I'm simply pointing out that if you're REALLY committed to pulling your team out of an almost decade and a half long slump that only has these brief, shining rays of hope scattered throughout it...you might want to start by closing down one of your battlefields in giving your franchise and people a new banner to rally around. 

Fight one war at a time, Dan...and be smart enough to choose the war that actually matters...

                         

Intangibles matter

My favorite definition of the word "Intangible" comes from the Google (who also taught me that this word has Latin roots with a Mid Evil French origin--good on you, Google!) Third definition down, Google says Intangible can also mean "(of an asset or benefit) not constituting or represented by a physical object and of a value not precisely measurable."

Well said, Google. 

In 2012, the Gods of Football opened up the heavens and rained down upon the NFL a deluge of really promising Quarterbacks just when it was most needed.  Indi, staring down the barrel of an uncertain future with the man who’d MADE football in their city, was granted the gift of Andrew Luck—Manning 2.0 with a better set of wheels.  Washington, who’d been fighting the messy front office issues that led to them purchasing the human puddle, Albert Haynesworth, was granted Robert Griffin the Third, a charismatic combine darling who seemed perfectly suited to be the face of an organization PR Reboot.  Seattle, under the sort of new (and pretty unorthodox) management of Pete Carroll and John Schneider found themselves still looking for the unknown element that was going to meld the disparate parts of what they were attempting to create together into a unified whole.  The Gods gave them Russell Wilson. 

Schneider, at the time, had just paid a guaranteed $10 million for QB Matt Flynn...so most of us up here in the land of coffee and salmon were CERTAIN that Wilson would soak up a couple years in the system, we'd get what we paid for out of Flynn (breaking slightly better than even while we shaped the rest of the team...) and life would continue on as normal. 

We were so naive back then (or, at least...I was...)

By the end of August, Carroll had evaluated both QBs in open competition and handed the reigns over to Wilson with full confidence.  Joseph Fell called it "...the worst move in his tenure as Seattle's head coach."

I'm sorry, Joey, what was that? We couldn't hear you over our Super Bowl Parade...

To be honest (and fair) he was not the only one who felt that way.

But this week, Russell Wilson did something that showed me what Pete Carroll saw that summer, when he--unconventional by any standards--pulled the unconventional move of starting a rookie over a vet at arguably the most crucial position in the organization.

In a letter posed to the newly launched Player's Tribune, Wilson displays the unfiltered athlete's voice the platform promises.  Admitting to a past as a bully, Wilson looks the excuse of the violence in football square in the eyes and bats it aside, launching the WhynotYou foundation and calling on all of us to "Pass the Peace".

The NFL appointed a panel of well-educated and qualified women to re-vamp their Personal Conduct and then launched into the safe, pre-approved Pinktober...brilliant timing, really, since it either allows those women a month or so to work some kind of  magic or it allows the NFL a month to let things die down before quietly marginalizing the very women they hired.

Either way, Russell Wilson's call to arms for the cause means that this issue doesn't go away...the NFL's shield is still being held over the fire in an effort to get them to address this...the pressure will remain on until something REAL happens. Something substantial.

It takes a lot of things other than great stats to lead a franchise.  And it takes something exceptional, to be able to recognize those other, more elusive qualities in others. Courage. Honesty. Humility. Generosity. A strong moral compass...

As a mother, I want many, many things for my son.

Above everything else...I want the intangibles. 

Competition may be hazardous to your health...

I am fiercely competitive and of two minds as to whether or not I'm anxious to have this trait show up in my child. For it's advantages, look no further than Tom Brady, this week. After a Monday Night Performance that I called "hot garbage in a dumpster fire" in an email to a co-worker, this week's snapping of the Bengel's win streak was worth a watch.

But that's not what struck me as I watched them games this afternoon. What struck me where my reactions to the members of my fantasy team with each dropped pass or missed opportunity.  At one point, I remember calling Calvin Johnson a "useless, apathetic sack of shit".  Imagine how bad everything else has to be, since I'm not telling you.  

This is the less than stellar side of competition.  Or one of them.  The sore loser...the worse winner.  We get accused of this A LOT in Seattle.  I think the loose recipe for this idea is the aloofness of the "Seattle Freeze" with 2 Cups of us adoring Richard Sherman despite his loud mouth and a dash of us just repeating "All about that action, Boss" when asked about Lynch.  

It's a hard way to live, honestly...when you're arrogant, the world is your enemy.  Everyone wants to see you fail or they want to ride your coattails.  When you're arrogant, you'd better make sure there isn't a moment where everything isn't perfect or you'll be pounced on, devoured.  

But you also have an opportunity.  A voice.  People will follow arrogance, will listen to what it has to say.  Will consider it, for a fraction of a second, before they either decides to keep listening or dismiss it but the point is WHEN YOU ARE ARROGANT you will get that half second consideration more often than someone who isn't.  As Sherman says "Some people are humble and humble people lose a lot of the time." 

I don't think Grey's like me.  At least...not this way. He's determined, sure, but he's spent far too much time trying to keep up with his older, smaller, MUCH faster best friend to be unaware of the limits his larger frame give him.   He's okay, not being first. 

And a very large part of me is relieved..